“Ladies and Gentlemen, the story you are about to [read] is true…
only the names have been changed to protect the innocent11.” …and the ridiculous; and some of the grammar because I couldn’t help myself…
In the spirit of the month of love, loss, and mockery I have carefully selected the following excerpts (between 8-1980 and 12-1982) from my high school and college diaries for your reading pleasure.
My life according to movies…
“In the evening Jane, Elizabeth, and I all went to see ‘The Great Muppet Caper”. It was really cute; then afterwards we went to Pizza Inn. John, Paul, George, and Ringo came. It was fun.”1 2 3
“Yesterday Anders and I went to Superman II. It was really good. He’s super sweet.”4
“The other night Shawn, [brother] Mark, and I went to see Richard Pryor in The Toy (good movie)… I kinda like Gus at the BSU, but I think everyone else kinda likes Gus at the BSU too.”5
“We went to go see the Fox and the Hound (cute movie!). I about died, Finn held my hand.”6
“The first time Henry kissed me, just for the record, was after we saw Raiders of the Lost Ark.”7
you might not want to use these at home
“The Big Brat” “The Big Slime” – about the cute boy who put a handful of confetti in Miss Bennet (bbf) and my Coke2
“Big Slime Dog” – about the boy for whom our friend dumped us at a football game
“Mr Snobola” – about another cute boy
“It was kinda neat.” Outdoor art festival
“It was really neat.” Demolition Derby which Miss Bennet and I attended at the county fair
“It was great.” Cruising for an hour and a half on Saturday night
“It was super great.” Sweet-16 surprise party
“Who ever gets him is super lucky.” About an ex-boyfriend
“Blow Me Away!” What I wrote in my diary when the boy I was going with told me he’d liked me 3 months earlier
“JK JK HA HA HA” Does it really matter why?
“Swoon…” About a boyfriend’s pretty eyes
Love is exciting...“You had better sit down for this next one! D’Artagnan and I have been together for 1 month and 2 weeks! WOW!” ♥ Six weeks was probably a record for me.8
Love is sad… “I want to go away to where everything is perfect… I think about the rainbows early in the morning with the dew and the unicorns. Air Supply. Here I am, the one that you love.” ♥ You were a fifteen year old girl once, right?
Love advice from a sixteen year old… “I told him I was gonna play the field for a while. He said, “That’s the only way you’re gonna get anyone, just be sure you play it in the right place!” ♥ Where’s that, centerfield?
Yes it will Mary Ann, yes it will… “I’ll be honest with you, Ginger, after fighting it for awhile I’ve decided I like Gilligan.” I couldn’t believe I said it. Just blunt and forward.
I know one day all this will seem so immature.
She said to Gilligan she thought I liked him, but she wasn’t sure and when she asked him if he liked me, “more than a friend” he said OF COURSE! (Pause). Gilligan is neat.” ♥ What. He was.9
It’s snowing, he’s pausing, I’m speechless… “Later we went for a walk. It was beautiful outside. We have been having a lot of snow and it had been snowing (well, still was). The snow just sparkled. It covered everything, it was so beautiful. I’ve never known Chandler to be cautious, but this is it… we were just getting ready to walk and he looked at me for a long time, then said,
“Girl, (pause) I’m not gonna let it burnout, not like Ross and Rachael, but (pause) I want to tell you, (pause) ‘I love you’.
It was really, um, wonderful, I was speechless.” ♥ Um, evidently (pause) so.10 But maybe not so much. Read on.
“I thought I’d play it smart this time.
I thought I could handle “being in love”.
I’d play it cool like I knew what I was doing. I was really careful what I said at first.
No promises I couldn’t keep, no unreasonable statements,
the kind of things that sting later on, after it’s over.
Now, I’m careful of what I say because I’m scared.
I’m scared because I’m falling in love.”
♥ I am not making this up.
And … this is free
“Down to the nitty-gritty.”
“Some girl named Pee-Wee likes [my brother]”
“We got an Atari! I can hear it from the family room.”
“Yesterday [9.9.81] was the last sq. root day of the century, WOW!”
“I liked him then, I like him now.”
My high school nickname was Sparky, that’s all you need to know.
Hey guys, I shared a little piece of my soul here. Help me out, the least you can do is tell me your high school nickname…right?
Okay. If that’s asking too much: coming up with suitable pseudonyms (yes, I had to look that up) was harder than you’d think. What names would you have used?
All characters were chosen for nostalgia or as a shout-out to a friend. 1)Jane Austen 2)Pride and Prejudice 3)well duh 4)Battlestar Galactica 5)Psych 6)Glee 7)Ugly Betty 8)The Three Musketeers 9)Gilligan’s Island 10)Friends 11)Dragnet