Monthly Archives: January 2012

a worthy goal

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Hey, welcome back!

Thanks for reading last week, and for stopping by again today. I’ve been thinking – maybe I could have been a little more clear about my intentions. I originally challenged myself to post once a month. Twelve posts, that’s do-able, right?

I tried looking up an official definition of ‘blogger’ for us to work from but only found ‘blog’ and ‘blogging’. Here’s what Dictionary.com, one of my favorite phone apps ever, thinks of blogging:

blogging – n. making an entry into a weblog or blog = online diary. When John said he was busy blogging, Sally said he should get a life!

It’s still a great app.

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I admire radio and talk-show hosts, fiction narrators, and auto/biographers; The Life Of Lynn!<-be thankful you haven't had to read that book. My brain to mouth speed, however, isn’t quick enough to be on radio or television. My life not eventful enough for publication. Twelve blog-posts? It’s a worthy goal.

Oh, and my purpose? Nothing deep or educational. My strength lies in my ability to laugh with life. Yes, I meant to say with, not at, life. And then I was just about to launch off into an inspiring little speech about bringing others along as we travel life’s highway…

“Mom, (insert name of offending sibling here) broke Skyrim.”

…when this happened and interrupted my flow.

Life is unpredictable. And complicated. And difficult. And funny.

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My next scheduled post isn’t until February: the shortest month of the year, National Bird-feeding month, the month of love, and, in 2012, leap year. Until then, I leave you with this picture of my son wearing a tea cosey.

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Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey…doesn’t try it on. -Billy Connolly

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This post sounded better right before I fell asleep. Unfortunately my brain doesn’t have download functionality (or fortunately, I’ll let you decide). I had to reconstruct it in the light of day.

Luckily for me dawn has cut short more than one substandard idea I have fabricated during the dark of night. How about you, any you’d like to share…?

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Siri and me

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My career as ‘A Blogger’ began at 10:37 a.m. this morning in a fairly inauspicious way: “at this very moment I’m driving around with a Whataburger in my lap arguing with my iPhone”.

We’re sci-fi fans around the Mattayhouse: Star Wars, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, Star Trek. When Mark upgraded my iPhone to a 4S as an early Christmas present, my daughter Molly suggested I rename Siri (the voice-activated assistant app built into the 4S), ‘Computer’. You get it, right? “Computer, compute to the last digit the value of pi.” It’s a Star Trek thing. I thought the idea was inspired so I tried…

me: Computer, take a note.
Siri: “computer taken note” Here’s your note: Computer taken

me: Computer (pause) take a note.
Siri: “Computer” I found a number of computer stores… 20 of them are fairly close to you:

And she helpfully displayed a Google webpage listing 20 computer stores fairly close to me.

me: Computer, listen to me: take. a. note.
Siri: Yes, I can hear you, Lynn.
me: (to myself) sheesh.

Siri can get a little snippy sometimes, especially when you try to rename her ‘Computer’.
Doggedly, I tried again.

me: Computer, listen to me: take. a. note.
Siri: “Computer listen to me taken note” Here’s your note: Computer listen to me taken

Then, she turned herself off.

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I’ve always wanted to be ‘A Blogger’. Even as a child I narrated my life as if I were dictating a memoir. Before any of us had computers I invented a job writing essays, “only about stuff that interested me and not for a grade, duh”. As an adult I realize that’s called ‘A Columnist’. Of course, even for fun, getting your ideas out of your head and ‘down on paper’ isn’t always easy…

Siri: What can I help you with?
me: Note.
Siri: “Note” Okay, I can take that note for you… just tell me what you want it to say.
me: Note: (pause) my career as a blogger started out inauspiciously (pause) …
Siri: “Note” Got it: Note.

She’s a feisty one, that Siri.

Siri: What can I help you with?
me: Siri, take a note.
Siri: “Siri take a note” What would you like the note to say?
me: my career as a blogger started out in a very inauspicious way (pause)…
Siri: “My career as a blogger started out in a very auspicious Way” Got it.

me: Siri, take a note.
Siri: “Siri taken note” Here’s your note: Siri taken

me: NOTE!
Siri: “Nope”
me: NOTE!!!
Siri: No, perhaps not.
me: No, Take. A. Note.
Siri: “Know take note” What would you like the note to say?
me: (to myself) gah!
me: (to Siri) Consider the fact that on my very first blog-post I’m already calling myself a blogger.
Siri: “consider the fact that on my very first blog on Marty calling my cell phone blocker” Got it.

me: (to myself) *sigh* I don’t even know a Marty…

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Alright, life is too short and too crazy to not argue a little with your computer (you know you already do). So seriously: what’s the most ridiculous thing your ‘Siri’ (or GPS, or Marty) has ever told you?

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